"Always"

(a caution of word : It's just those days where I wish I go to Hogwarts)

The coldness of this winter month surely contributed to the lazy nights as I felt safe and sound at three in the morning, under two layers of blanket where an overloaded exaggeration covered up my head as I witness my all-time favorite movies from this 13-inch screen. Divine.

Given the fact that it's always been impossible for me to either watch one Harry Potter movie without watching all of them or to read a Harry Potter book without reading all of them, the Harry Potter movie and reading marathon have always been my cup of tea. And will "always" be. My eyes were the most splendid body part of the week as I get to witness all the Harry Potter movies in the past 12 years in a week. This took me back to my childhood days. 

I remember watching the first Harry Potter movie exactly 12 years ago, in this very month back in 2001 when I was 9 years old. I could still remember Frank Sinatra's Can't Take My Eyes Off of You being played in the small break in the middle of the movie. Yes, cinemas in Indonesia used to give a small break in the middle of the movies. I didn't quite understand the movie because obviously I couldn't really speak English. Let alone english, I couldn't even speak my own language, bahasa Indonesia that well. Regardless of my assumption by just observing their body language, I was truly amazed by the movie. It's like I've never seen anything like it before. To me, it was something new. Including the almighty British accent. 

I then moved to the land of pyramids and eventually watch the the third, fourth and the fifth movie there. I remember having all the 13 posters of the third movie I got from a Harry Potter edition magazine hung on the wall of my room in that apartment in Mohandessin street. Not to mention, the action figure of Harry in the gryffindor quidditch uniform on his nimbus 2000 that stood on my lamp table right next to my bed. That was when I started to read the series. My mother got me the first three books from this second hand bookstore in Ma'adi. There were all in french. I must say I was quite disappointed they weren't in english. As I recall, my french skills became a potentially problematic issue as my english got better. Even so, I'd consider myself a fool if I didn't read the book just because I didn't want to read Voldemort's complication in french. 

Going back to Indonesia and transferred to a new high school in the first year, fresh air must have been very difficult to come by as I incontrovertibly gave my all on my academics and the wearisome adaptations. Even Harry Potter and the Half-Blood prince couldn't mess up my relationship with my A-level Biology book. I couldn't help but indulge the countless fascinating scientific terms in that 20mm thick book. How could I possibly missed Harry Potter and the Half-Blood prince? (believe me, I've been asking myself that question for years). Silly of me. It took me long enough to finally watch the sixth movie which I watched at home when it came out in the TV. It actually felt weird watching a harry potter movie that I haven't watched in the cinema first, in TV. Not to repeat the silliness of mine again, I certainly made sure that I had to watch the seventh movie in the cinema. And so, I did. 

Moving to Korea, I got to use a smart phone which gives loads privileges. I then finally read all the series in english using the pdf reader. I desperately need to get all the books. In english. Seriously. I watched the last movie two years ago in my first year here. It was very emotional. I couldn't possibly think of a better ending than the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2. I just hate to go with the fact that I won't be looking forward to another Harry Potter movie or book. However, as J.K Rowling stated that whether you come back by page, or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home is indeed true. At least that's what I feel. If I am amazed at anything, it is at how crazy that I can re-watch all the movies again and again and still have the reactions like I've never seen it. Even though I basically mouth to their lines. And I do take pride in it. As for the books, I just wish I could read the books for the first time again.

The greatest thing about these books is the life lessons I get that I never could have dreamed of. They are basically relevant in our lives that we never could have imagined. 

-- Dumbledore taught me that sometimes we must pick between what is right and what is easy. And he also taught me the existence of life beyond death.

-- Hagrid taught me to be loyal to those who are loyal to you.

-- Snape taught me to be brave. To fight for a true love.

-- Lupin taught me that no matter how bad things get, there's always a way to survive.

-- Sirius taught me that your family does not define who you are.

-- Voldemort taught me that the things you fear the most are the things you understand the least.

-- Arthur taught me that to follow your dream is far more important than following the crowd.

-- Molly taught me that I can always rely on my mother.

-- Narcissa taught me that family always come first.

-- Luna taught me that being myself is more interesting that being someone else.

-- Neville taught me that standing up to your friends is harder than standing up to your own enemy. 

-- Malfoy taught me that everyone has feelings and that we never really grow up until we face an impossible task.

-- Hermione taught me that cleverness is far more important than looks.

-- Ron taught me that a true friend stays with you until the end.

-- Harry taught me that we must fight as though everyone depends on us and that anything can happen if you really fight for it.

Last but not least, I learned that people can be really bad in this world, but as long as there are people willing to fight for what is right, and to fight for love, the world can still be a nice place. 

Eight movies, seven books, there I was, somewhere in that magical world, away from the world I am living in. Harry has always been my childhood hero. A one of a kind hero. Growing up with Harry, Ron and Hermione is anything I could ask for a proper childhood. In some way, Harry Potter will always own a place in one's heart. And by all means, there is no necessarily need for further endearment.

For a moment, or maybe way longer than a moment, I really wish Harry Potter's world does exist. 

There will be nothing quite like Harry Potter again.

Thank you J.K Rowling, for giving me such a magical childhood. 

Things that have made my week

on Monday, watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

on Tuesday, watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

on Wednesday, watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

on Thursday, watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

on Friday, watched Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix

on Saturday, watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

on Sunday, watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

The way I see it

Setelah seharian gak mandi dan cuma berkutat dengan berbagai macam program adobe dari mulai bangun sampai mau tidur lagi, dari mulai mata yang susah dibuka tapi kebuka juga sampai gak tahan pengen merem dan tidur aja, gw pun buka youtube dan mencari hiburan. Ya begitulah gw, bukannya tidur malah nyari hiburan dulu. Abisnya, tidur jam 1 rasanya kurang afdol gitu, kayak ada yang kurang. Maklum, setelah seharian super duper galau dengan tugas yang numpuk (tapi mending galau tugas sih, capek galau mainstream gak kelar-kelar), gw berhak dong ketawa ketiwi sedikit. After all, it's sunday. Dan menurut gw, so far ini cara paling enak buat nikmatin hari minggu. Setelah kuliah full dari hari senin sampai jumat, terus main seharian di hari sabtunya, hari minggu itu emang pas banget buat mager-guling-gulingan-di-kasur sambil nugas (kalau inget dan niat). 

Anyway, pas banget dengan kondisi gw yang lagi butuh hiburan, malesbanget.com baru aja nge-upload episode baru dari Jalan-Jalan Men 2013. Sebenarnya udah di-upload satu hari yang lalu, tapi entah kenapa video Jalan-Jalan Men gak pernah muncul di my subscriptions page gw di youtube. Ujung-ujungnya, harus gw cari juga. Jalan-Jalan Men adalah acara travel series Indonesia dari malesbanget.com dimana Jebraw dan Naya adalah host-nya. Sebenarnya, malesbanget.com terbentuk di tahun 2002, tapi acara ini baru ada sejak pertengahan tahun lalu. Dan gw ngikutin sejak itu. Ini acara super duper keren banget level dewa demi apa pun gak paham lagi. Kalau kata Jebraw, triple pecah. Ini acara bercerita tentang Jebraw dan Naya yang mencari harta karun di Indonesia. Bukan hanya menelusuri tempat-tempat yang emang udah terkenal di Indonesia tapi mereka juga ke tempat-tempat di pelosok Indonesia yang mungkin belum pernah diketahui. Ini acara amatlah sangat berhasil memperlihatkan ke-imba-an kekayaan Indonesia. Every single episode of this show amazes me. Ini satu-satunya acara yang setiap episodenya hanya berdurasi kurang lebih 20 menit gak pernah gagal membuat gw ketawa, terpukau, terpesona, merinding, terkagum-kagum mangap gak kelar-kelar, bahkan meneteskan air mata saking tersentuhnya (rada lebay, but true story).

Di episode kali ini, mereka ke Labuan Bajo yang berada di NTB. Sebagian besar penduduknya bermatapencaharian petani. Pemandangan sawah yang dilihat dari atas gunung sih fix cakep. Beda dari episode-episode lain, episode kali ini lebih fokus ke interaksi dengan orang-orang bajo. Mereka ini tinggal di desa yang berada di atas gunung. Walaupun cuma berdurasi kurang dari 20 menit, gw belajar banyak dari episode ini. Sebagai orang yang biasa dengan tinggal di kota, gw tertampar melihat betapa simpelnya mereka menjalani hidup ini. Mereka gak perlu kesejahteraan materi karena mereka udah punya kesejahteraan akal dan hati (aseek). Makanan sehari-hari mereka langsung dari alam sekitar mereka. Fresh. They're basically living to just keep on living. Gak ada tuh yang namanya galau-galauan. Beda banget dari orang kota yang udah kenal uang dan bahkan dijadikan patokan untuk menilai segala sesuatu hal. Itu yang membuat orang gak pernah puas dengan apa yang mereka punya, dan selalu ingin lebih. Padahal terkadang apa yang kita mau bukanlah sesuatu yang kita butuhkan. Dan kita selalu merasa yang kita gak punya itu lebih indah dari yang kita punya. Padahal, kalau di lihat-lihat sih yang kita punya itu sama indahnya dengan apa yang kita gak punya. Satu lagi yang gw belajar dari orang-orang Bajo yang sangatlah ramah. Mereka gak menyambut tourist sebagai tourist, tapi tourists disambut seperti keluarga sendiri. Katanya, menurut mereka tourist yang ke Bajo itu orang berkelana yang telah pulang kembali. No wonder, they were very welcome and were able to interact really fast with the tourists as if they knew them. Dengan kata lain, sosialisasi mereka tinggi. Bahkan bisa dibilang lebih tinggi di banding kita yang ngaku-ngaku anak "sosial" banget. Sosial "media". Apa iya kita makin sosial? Menurut gw sih enggak. Justru dengan bertambah fokusnya kita dengan dunia maya, kita makin socially awkward. Ugly truth.

Yang gw suka banget dari Jalan-Jalan Men adalah cinematography mereka yang epic banget (sekedar info, nama tim mereka tim epic lho). I'm in love with the way they capture Indonesia. Simply, breathtaking. Sudut-sudut mereka ambil gambar itu wow banget. Ditambah dengan Jebraw dan Naya yang ngebawa acara ini effortlessly asik. They're really awesome people. Indonesians are indeed awesome! So is indonesia. Di sini, sangatlah bisa dilihat kalau orang Indonesia itu emang ramah orang-orangnya. Selain kekayaan Indonesia yang berlimpahan dan keramahan orang-orangnya yang membuat gw berterima kasih dilahirkan sebagai orang Indonesia, makanan Indonesia juga merupakan salah satu alasannya. Gw gak kebayang kalau gw gak dilahirkan sebagai orang Indonesia dimana gw gak bisa nikmatin rujak, sate, bubur, soto, nasi padang, rawon, rendang, dkk in my daily life. I dare say, "makanan Indonesia itu baru yang namanya makanan!" (iklan banget). 

Gw gak setuju dengan pernyataan dimana kita harus melupakan perbedaan di antara kita untuk menjadi satu. Justru, perbedaan itulah yang harus kita perhatikan dan hargai. Instead of ignoring the fact that we are different, I think we should embrace that difference. Itulah Bhinneka Tunggal Ika (perasaan post gw sebelum sebelum ini juga ngomongin Bhinneka Tunggal Ika). Perbedaan itulah yang membuat Indonesia unik. Perbedaan budaya, perbedaan bahasa, perbedaan agama, makanan juga amatlah sangat beragam, warna kulit yang berbeda-beda, tanah aja beda-beda (secara indonesia negara kepulauan). Cara pandang dari berbagai macam orang pun berbeda-beda. Dengan perbedaan itulah, kita seharusnya bisa saling melengkapi satu sama lain. Dan barulah bersatu.

Orang-orang Indonesia selalu bertanya kapan Indonesia akan berubah? Gw juga dulu salah satu dari orang-orang yang hidup dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti ini. Bahkan, gw dulu ngata-ngatain Indonesia. Tapi gw sadar caki maki gw gak bakal ngerubah Indonesia (bikin capek ngomel, iya). Justru kita yang harus berubah, karena perubahan itu mulai dari kita sendiri. Jujur, gw masih belajar mencintai negeri gw ini. Dan itu adalah sebuah proses yang indah (caelah). Dengan pandangan kita yang selalu negatif terhadap Indonesia, apakah kita layak mendapatkan semua keindahan Indonesia? Gw rasa enggak. 

Berkat acara ini, keinginan gw untuk keliling Indonesia semakin menjadi-jadi. Yups, dibanding keliling dunia, gw lebih pengen keliling Indonesia. Bisa dibilang acara ini has changed my perspective about Indonesia. So far, gw baru ke pulau Jawa, Sulawesi dan Bali aja, gw sangat kagum dengan ketiga pulau tersebut. Gimana kalau liat harta-harta yang pulau-pulau lain punya? Dulu gw pengen keliling Indonesia karena menurut gw itu keharusan gw sebagai orang Indonesia. Tapi sekarang alasan itu pun berubah. Gw pengen keliling Indonesia karena pengen melihat kekayaan alam negeri sendiri dengan mata kepala sendiri. Gw pengen mengenal Indonesia lebih jauh. Dan gw yakin dengan berkeliling Indonesia, gw bisa belajar banyak hal dan mungkin bisa merubah gw menjadi lebih baik dengan melihat Indonesia dari berbagai macam sudut pandang orang-orang yang berbeda. Indonesia has a lot to offer. Apa yang anda mau, Indonesia punya. Entah itu dari segi alam, ataupun budaya. Dari pengalaman gw travelling ke berbagai negara, Indonesia is the richest country in this world. Gw emang belum keliling dunia, but so far that's the way I see it.

Pertanyaannya bukanlah "Apa yang Indonesia punya?", tapi "Apa yang Indonesia gak punya?".

Two Things

ONE

After having a pretty long conversation with friends about how their names are greek, it makes me want to have a greek name too. Not that I don't like my name (in fact, I wrote a whole post about how I'm amazed with my name). It's just that greek names sound really intriguingly appealing to me that eventually the idea of changing the name of this blog with a greek name came up. I then googled about the greek mythology names which I found to be a really good read. Aegle, goddess of radiant good health takes me back to the meaning of my first name. I grew fond of this word.

TWO

My middle name which means musk aroma originated from a small member of the deer family, called Moschidae. I then combine both words into one word, moschidaegle. I know it's supposed to be the other way around according to the order of my name, but I couldn't help taking the "ae" in both words making it as a conjunction. Creating words can actually be fun.

Another Subconscious Arbitrary Interpretation

Lights.

The crowd was enjoyable. It wasn't over-crowded. Some way it kept me from getting carried away with all the vulnerable emotions. Yes, they are still there, haunting me. It felt good standing there. Countlessly pressing the shutter button of my G12. I just had to ignore the bitterly cold weather. It wasn't that freezing actually. But denim button up on a denim semi-blazer surely wasn't the right attire. My hands were numb. I should have known denim certainly do not keep you warm. In fact, the black shawl that was wrapped around my neck saved the day. Going back to my room after actually leaving my dormitory just for the sake of getting that shawl is absolutely another good decision apart from getting my self a hot white chocolate mocha latte today.

I couldn't afford to ignore another subconscious arbitrary interpretation of mine. Supposing that there was only one light shining, then it wouldn't make it as a pavilion. And if the lights were one color, it would probably be dull. Well, it wouldn't be as appealing as the colorful one I saw. This reminds me of the official national motto of Indonesia, Bhinneka Tunggal Ika which is translated as "Unity in Diversity". Just saying.

The name is Saras

Apparently it runs in my blood to have random questions popping out in my head in the most unpredicted time of the day. It all started this morning at packaging design class, where I was actually working on my web design project. There's something about me and doing a certain project not in its actual class. I always seem to do that. It all depends on my mood which apparently is not always synchronized with my schedule. Staring at my logo, "What does my name actually mean?" suddenly came up in my mind.

Being the typical me, instead of ignoring the question and moving on with the project, I started googling my name. I remembered God knows when I once asked my mother what my name means. She told me "Saras" actually means mentally healthy (waras) in Javanese. Honestly, I thought she was joking (secara waras sangatlah tidak merepresentasikan gw). Yup, she jokes a lot, so I often don't really take her seriously when I really should do.

I found a fair amount of different meanings of "Saras" in different languages. It turns out my mother wasn't joking. One of the meanings, (1) mentally healthy was right. She then told me later (after I asked her again) she gave me that name hoping that I'd be in good health mentally and physically. I don't know about mentally (just kidding), but thanks God I've never been that badly sick where I had to be put in a hospital bed. And I don't wish to. The other one I found was (2) quintessence. It's from sanskrit which is originally a historical Indo-Aryan language. As a matter of fact, it is actually a classic Indian language. Another one I found from the sanskrit is, (3) pond. The Rigvedic term refers to stagnant water. I then got to know about a holy river in India named Sarasvati which is one of the main Rigvedic rivers. "Vati" means to own. So, the word "Sarasvati" signify the meaning of owning something or to have a tendency to keep flowing like water in the river. The Hindi Goddess "Sarasvati" was originally a personification of this river which has the meaning of "the source of life". 

My middle name, "Syazwina" means Kasturi (musk). As mention in the holy Quran, it is a substance with which are sealed the pure drinks of Paradise. My mother told me that it has this really good scent. Then I read somewhere that musk is to be the king of all scents. Apparently, it is that good. That makes "smell the scent of Kasturi" on the top of my bucket list. Other than its usage as a fragrance, it is also used in medicine. In that aspect, I was utterly clueless. Kasturi is also used as a detoxofier and is a potent aphrodisiac. O-kay now I'm pretty amazed. 

And finally "Salim" - my last name which happens to be my family name simply means, to be safe. 

Despite being teased as 'Saras 008' (some Indonesian girl superhero that was really popular back in the late 90s) by most Indonesians ever since I was a little whenever I introduce myself, I personally think Saras is a great name. In all my life, I've never been to a school where a lot of people named Saras can be found. Sarah and Sara are most commonly used. Thus, luckily I was always the only Saras in all the schools I've been to. Yeay to that! And currently in this campus where only 115 Indonesians can be found, I'm the only Saras in this campus. Well, who wouldn't be happy having something that only you have? Even if it's something as simply as a name.

I would like to thank my much loved parents for giving me such a great name.

Gratified

There's this feeling where I know, I have to write regardless all the duties that needs to be done. That includes the never-ending portfolio book project, web design, packaging design, and few errands such as buying salts and cooking oil. I am in desperate need of those two. Yes, I use loads of salts. I don't get how this country produce the not-so-salty salt. I guess that's how much they pay attention to their health. Not that I'm dissatisfied with the way they make their salts, but it's just everything I take in here is tasteless. O-kay presuming that I go on, this post will most likely end up being a list of reasons why nothing beats the amazingly-oh-so-delicious taste of Indonesian food.

Enough rambling (about salt. Seriously?). Apart from the fact that I can no longer wear flats these days, I loved my weekend. Those three days were well-spent with the faces I don't normally see in weekdays. We all have different majors. I hope that explains. Owing to the fact that  the only class I've got on friday is at 8am, I'm pretty much free the rest of the day. So, to me friday is weekend. Same thing occurs on monday. Whereas every single soul in this planet complains about how crappy their monday morning is, 60 minutes starting from 9 is the only time I have to listen to Mr. Sean's lecture and I'm back in bed for the rest of the day. Thus, in 4 out of 7 days, I get freedom (as long as I'm not bothered with any of my academic stuff). How I'm overly fond of this semester's schedule. 

Friday

I finally had KFC again after God knows when was the last time I had it. Back home, KFC's paket panas may be my forever-no.1-option when boke-ness strikes, however I absolutely wouldn't consider consuming KFC in that same situation here (I wonder if they still have it in their menu). After almost 3 years living here, not only finding a rubbish bin is rather a difficult task, so is finding a KFC. Therefore, I would say eating KFC here is somehow uncommon. You could either take the subway to Sentum City or transit to Seomyeon and head for Nampo-dong. Those are the 2 places that has KFC and definitely not a destination I often go. There's actually one located in Haeundae, but apparently it has been closed down recently. Thus, that leaves me with only two KCFs in the whole Busan (sigh). Also, KFC back home tastes so much better. Not that I'm being subjective, but taking it back to the health issues, I guess they're putting less vetsin/MSG. Indonesians tend to use loads of it (for the sake of tastiness). And unfortunately, KFC here costs more (sigh again). Long story short, KFC back home is obviously preferable. Wow, a whole paragraph just for a chicken. I'm obsessed. 

Saturday

Despite of the heavy rain that was pouring down all day long, the so-called Lee Jae Mo Pizza which is located in Nampo-dong that everyone recommended filled up my belly. We had the bulgalbi and the hot chicken. It was indeed irresistibly tasty, absolutely delicious, fluffy, milky-cheesed, crazy-spicy, satisfying (palu Thor pun jatuh). I still don't get how koreans make sweet potato pizza. Creative, though. I like sweet potato, but anything sweet potato-flavored just doesn't work for me. And ending the rainy saturday with La Petite Gateau's soufflé as a dessert was definitely peerless. Nevertheless I did eat it like I haven't had any meal for the past 2 days. That soufflé didn't even last for 2 minutes on the table. I should unconditionally go back for the sake of the tart. 

Sunday

Regardless of the fact I did not shower the whole day, I managed to get off my bed and eat my delivered late-lunch with friends. Yes, the very same people I hang out with the past 2 days. Basically, we had what we had on friday and saturday ; chicken and pizza. Mother nature saved me on this lazy-sunday by combining both, tandoori chicken and pepperoni pizza for the perfect lunch. Clearly, a long nap came next. A really really long one. 

I can say, I am gratified.

Mari lari

Nama : Saras

Umur : 21

Hobi Baru : Lari

Lari dari kenyataan.

Kenyataan pahit. Kenyataan busuk. Kenyataan bullshit.

Sampai kapankah kaki ini akan lari dari semua ini? Entahlah. 

Akankah pertanyaan itu menemukan jawabannya? Lagi-lagi, entahlah.

Betapa membosankan jawaban-jawaban seperti ini. 

Bukannya tidak ingin menemukan jawaban selain "entahlah", tapi rasanya mengikuti kakiku yang ingin terus berlari adalah hal yang tepat untuk sekarang ini. Hasrat untuk berhenti pun hampir tidak ada. Walaupun lelah, nyaman rasanya. Dan sangatlah tidak adil jika kenyamanan ini pun tidak bisa kumiliki. Untuk sekarang, hanya itu yang kuminta. 

Perasaan siap menghadapi ternyata hanya dalam benak pikiran. Nyatanya, keputusan untuk tidak bergerak dari kasur malam ini (this has nothing to do with kemageran saya) sulit dikalahkan. Tekatku untuk berdiri dan melawan bisikan setan lagi-lagi gagal. Manusia lemah. Sesusah itu kah? Menelan pahitnya semua ini. 

Kalau kata orang, pengecut. 

Selamat Hari Pahlawan !

" Bangsa yang besar adalah bangsa yang menghormati jasa pahlawannya. " 

Soekarno

10 Nopember 1961

The Hammer

"OH DEAR LORD. DID HE REALLY HAVE TO DIE?"

I was hoping a finally-thor-and-loki-lived-happily-ever-after kind of ending.

Excuse my dramatic-oh-so-emotional-tearing-up-super-duper-lebay mood.

That was what kept going on in my mind right after that scene until about 10 seconds before the credits started rolling.

I didn't expect what I saw at the end. I guess I always see the good in people. 

I have this thing with superhero movies where 'connecting the dots' occurs pretty slow for me. Having the after-movie-talk with friends, I then started to see the whole picture. 

(what I'm about to write is purely my personal opinion)

Thumbs up for the way Marvel builds a whole new universe. Though, it's kind of too much to take in with all the new villain's introduction, new race, new worlds, battle sequences as the opening acts. It felt like a dejavu. It was somehow similar to Man of Steel's. Monotonous. But the last hour felt like a comic came to life as it offers plenty of humor and actions that I have expected. I actually prefer this one than the first one. Simple, yet engaging. The visual effects were indeed impressive. It may not the best Marvel film, but it undoubtedly opens up to more story lines that I couldn't be more excited to look forward - it's a much more vast universe that I've never seen before. So this movie definitely delivered it.

I couldn't stop smiling especially at the Loki-Thor relationship. They seemed to have an even better chemistry than Thor-Jane. Thor might be the hero, but once again Loki stole my attention with his appearance draped in black leather in every scene he's in. I dare say he gets all the memorable lines. He's currently my favorite villain, and I don't see the point of changing that any time soon. Regrettably, Malekith was a total bore. I really did expect something from him. At least some motivation.

The god of thunder might be an uncomplicated warrior which I totally fell for, but the god of mischief surely upstages him.

P.S. The unexpected appearance of Captain America surely needs to be underlined.

8AM-ish. Video class. 

As expected, bloated eyes. No coffee, no breakfast.

Ta-da! A new Logo. Finally made up my mind.

Dilemma

3AM. 5 hours to tomorrow morning's 8o'clock video class. To be precise, 3 hours and a half to my friday morning alarm. 

I'm having those days where I see sleeps are just a waste of time. I feel like I'm gonna miss out on something if I sleep. It's actually only been 2 days I'm feeling like this. I was super super lazy at the beginning of the week. Today, I'm pretty much the opposite. Naps aren't my highlights anymore. I tend to sleep after 3 and surviving the whole day without taking a nap turns out to be one of my latest capability. Not bad. 

And here I am facing another dilemma I, myself have created - choosing my own logo. Yup, it all began last night when I suddenly decided to make myself a new logo. I narrowed it down to two :

It still a tough choice. I can't choose, really. My eyes are turning red from looking at the screen so much for more than 8 hours straight. It has become a habit of mine.

Ouch. It still hurts.
But it's okay, I'll just grow a new heart.

Pergantian

Lagi-lagi kemageran saya masih berlanjut sampai detik ini pun. Entah kenapa badan berasa berat sekali. Apa mungkin karena kebanyakan tidur? Tapi hari ini saya gak tidur seharian. Justru bisa dibilang hari ini saya lumayan produktif dibanding hari-hari kemarin.

Walaupun kelas hari ini baru mulai jam 1 siang, jam 10 saya udah bangun (berkat alarm sih). Dan setelah sekian lama gak bikin egg toast, pagi ini dengan lahap saya menyantap egg toast bikinan sendiri *super satisfied. Dan di kelas pun, dimana saya yang biasanya lelap tidur dan bisa-bisanya mimpi, walaupun disertai keluhan saya buka illustrator dan mengerjakan itu buku portfolio yang gak kelar-kelar GAK PAHAM LAGI. 

Ketika kelas tiga jam itu kelar, seharusnya saya dan teman saya langsung cabut ke tempat les. Berhubung melihat langit yang rada mendung, ditambah juga dengan gerimis, serta udara yang sejuk, batal lah kami ke sana. Sesimpel percakapan pendek ini : 

S : Gila ini udara sih bikin mager bgt, enaknya tidur ini mah!

M : Yauda, kita balik aja yuk! Besok aja kita ke sananya.

S : Okeh sip.

Rencana kami ke sana selalu batal dari minggu ke minggu. Entah berapa banyak alasan kami. Dan kali ini, udara sejuk lah alasan kami.

Udara di Busan yang semakin hari semakin dingin (ya iyalah, namanya juga mau winter) bikin kemageran yang udah level akut ini mendobel. Gak kuat rasanya keluar dari kamar (derita anak tropis). Perjalanan yang biasanya sebentar terasa sangat panjang. Belum lagi kejadian saltum seperti hari ini yang bikin saya menggigil sepanjang hari. Salah saya juga sih gak ngecek weather forecast sebelum memilih baju. Weather forecast emang sangatlah penting buat yang tinggal di Busan yang cuacanya cukup labil. 

Cuaca labil ini lah yang bikin gak enaknya pergantian musim. Siang masih berasa panas, tapi kalau udah sore mulai berasa dingin. Baju yang saya pakai dari pagi berasa pas dengan cuaca. Tapi, berasa super salah pakai baju itu ketika kelar kelas sore atau malam. Rada serba salah. Dan lagi-lagi, di pergantian musim ini, AC satu asrama di matiin kurang lebih selama seminggu. Jadi, siang-siang saya dipenuhi dengan keluhan-keluhan kepanasan. Belum lagi kamar saya yang menghadap ke depan, jadi sa.ngat.lah terekspos dengan sinar matahari (ampe silau). Beruntunglah orang-orang yang kamarnya menghadap ke hutan (jadinya kamar mereka adem-adem gimana gitu). 

Hal kedua yang bikin gak enaknya pergantian musim sih cukup common, yaitu sakit. Yup, semua orang jadi batuk pilek. Dan itu sudah menjadi hal biasa di kampus gw. Orang-orang jadi bindeng dan batuk-batuk. Virus dimana-mana. Minyak kayu putih pun selalu setia menemani setiap saat (udah kayak iklan). Untung saya baru aja dapat kiriman stok antangin dari mama. Walau ke ujung dunia (ca elah), saya gak akan bisa pisah dari minyak kayu putih dan antangin. Namanya juga orang Indonesia.

Dan lagi-lagi, hari ini saya cuma bisa berharap supaya besok gak dikalahkan rasa malas lagi. 

Repeated

Today was another unproductive day.

It's 2AM and I just got back from a 4-hour meeting with the committee of KKI, proceed by another meeting with MIKy. Yup, there are still many things left to do even after the whole thing is done. Making documents, evaluation, protocols, deadlines etc. 

The thing about getting back to my room this late is that I have to do everything quietly. Duh obviously. My roommate is asleep. The only light that's been guiding me doing my night routines is the light from my laptop's screen. And obviously I can't cook. So, I'm just going to enjoy the creepy sounds my stomach makes. I was going to fast tomorrow, but I guess I won't since I can't eat suhoor right now. God, I'm starved.

This is terrible. My eyes are wide awake and I'm extremely hungry. Sleeping all day at weekdays is indeed wrong. Naps have been my highlight nowadays. Today was just like sunday and monday all over again. I did nothing except stayed in bed watching random videos, reading random articles. Forgetting that the draft of my portfolio book is due tomorrow. I even slept in today's classes. I even dreamt, even though it was only for 10 minutes. I'm still pretty amazed at how I can sleep through anything and dream at those few-minutes-sleep. I'm an expert! 

I skipped a class at noon today just to take a nap. I was so lazy to go this English class which is located up the hill. Plus, the class is just an hour long but the walk to the class is somehow troublesome. I regret taking this class. Big regret. I thought it would be fun since it is a conversation class (I enjoy talking in English), but it turns out making conversation with Koreans is totally frustrating. And in every single class, twice a week, all we do is make conversation. The professor doesn't teach much. I don't get how are they so bad at English, yet English is their major. Moreover, they're in their third year. I have to repeat three to four times every time I ask a question until they get what I'm saying. There was a time where I was so frustrated that I couldn't bother to repeat what I was saying that I just said "Pass!". I just thought going to that English class would just make my day even crappier. And I couldn't afford another mood ruiner at the beginning of the week. 

I just hope the rest of this week won't be unproductive as the beginning of the week. 

Aneh-ness

Aneh rasanya malam ini hanya duduk di depan laptop, membaca artikel-artikel random di Jakarta Globe sambil mendengarkan pramborsfm. Malam ini terasa panjang sekali. Waktu seakan berhenti. 

Satu minggu terakhir ini, setiap malam biasanya di padati oleh jadwal rehearsal Knock, Knock, Indonesia 2013 dari jam 8 sampai dengan jam 12. Belum lagi perjalanan dari tempat rehearsal yaitu indoor basketball court yang berada di perpustakaan sampai dorm yang dipenuhi dengan ketawa-ketiwi yang engga ada habisnya bersama teman-teman. Di tambah godaan-godaan ayam goreng ministop (semacam seven eleven yang berada tepat di depan gerbang utama universitas saya) yang rasanya kurang lebih sama seperti ayam goreng KFC. Ayam goreng ministop ini sangat laku di kalangan mahasiswa-mahasiswi Indonesia di kampus saya. Jadi, biasanya setelah rehearsal kami berburu ke ministop berebut ayam goreng tersebut. Sayangnya dari 6 hari rehearsal, hanya sekali saya bisa menikmati ayam tersebut. Sebenarnya nggak sehat juga sih setiap hari makan makanan instant. Yaa tapi sangatlah beruntung itu Bapak ministop satu minggu terakhir ini. Dagangan ludes.

Anyway (back to topic), kurang lebih jam 1 biasanya baru bisa settle depan laptop memulai atau melanjutkan tugas-tugas. Ya, begitulah kehidupan saya satu minggu terakhir ini sebagai mahasiswi dan pengisi acara sekaligus panitia. Bahkan berkat rapat panitia yang baru kelar jam 4 subuh, akhirnya saya ketiduran dan telat 20 menit pada kelas yang mulai jam 8 pagi keesokan harinya. Dan saya malah berpikir "ini baru namanya kuliah!". Jujur, saya bukan tipe yang susah bangun. Asal ada alarm yang berbunyi, pasti saya bangun. Kejadian itu baru dua kali terjadi pada saya selama saya 3 tahun kuliah. Intinya, satu minggu terakhir ini sangatlah super hectic. Tapi saya hanya menikmatinya saja. Dari pada bete-bete di keadaan yang udah super rebek, mending di nikmati saja. Ya memang ada saat-saatnya dimana ingin sekali mengeluh. Walaupun begitu, saya selalu mengingatkan diri sendiri untuk tidak mengeluh. Toh, mengeluh nggak memperbaik situasi juga. Saya memang suka dengan kesibukan-kesibukan mengurus sebuah acara besar karena itu sebuah kesempatan bersosialisasi dengan orang-orang di sekitar dan juga bisa dijadikan pengalaman yang bisa kita pelajari. 

Jujur, saya tidak masalah dengan adanya latihan setiap malam. Justru saya merasa terhibur karena setelah sekian lama, angkatan saya bisa terkumpul kembali. Istilahnya, nongkrong bareng. Maklum sudah tahun ketiga, jadi pada sibuk dengan kesibukan masing-masing. Walau saya tetap saja mencuri-curi waktu untuk menyicil tugas saat latihan. Ya memang resikonya adalah waktu tidur yang harus saya relakan. Toh, acara ini hanya setahun sekali. Sekali-kali, enggak apa-apa lah. Kalau mata berkantung hitam sih saya udah biasa. It has become a part of me.  

Bukan hari ini saja dimana saya merasa aneh hanya leha-leha di kasur. Kemarin pun begitu. 20 jam dari 24 jam saya habiskan di kasur, itu yang saya rasakan. Kalau kata anak jaman sekarang (termasuk saya), mager. Entah karena emang kecapean atau beneran mager. Atau mungkin, preparing last week's event was so exciting that anything I do now won't be as exciting as what I did last week. Entahlah. It feels like you just finished reading a good book and you don't know what to do after that. Makan pun nggak nafsu. Saya emang jagoannya menahan lapar seharian. Mandi pun mager. Ew, jorok. I know. Agak akut sih kalau saya udah mager. Padahal rambut masih kaku bekas hairspray kemarinnya. Tapi malamnya mandi kok (hasil pemaksaan massal teman-teman).

Intinya saya bosan. Banyaknya waktu luang tiba-tiba. Baru aja beberapa hari yang lalu saya mengeluh 24 jam itu nggak cukup. Sekarang malah berasa 24 jam terlalu lama. Ketika 24 jam itu tidak cukup, menyicil tugas-tugas yang menggunung justru terasa gampang. Dan ketika 24 jam itu terasa terlalu lama, memulai tugas saja susah sekali. Huf, saya (maunya apa). I desperately need a mood booster. 

Sukses!

Meski mata ini terasa 5 watt, kaki dan tangan terasa mau patah, rambut pun masih keras dan kaku karena di semprot hairspray, hasrat jari-jari untuk menulis tentang malam ini pun saya turuti.

Lima jam yang lalu, tepatnya pukul 7 malam terlaksanakanlah Knock Knock Indonesia 2013 yang berjudul "The Lost Emerald". Tema ini diambil dari lokasi geografis Indonesia yang berada di garis jamrud khatulistiwa. Acara tahunan yang dibuat oleh  MIKy (Mahasiswa Indonesia Kyungsung University) berkolaborasi dengan KITA (Kyungsung Indonesian Traditional Dance Association) ini menampilkan seni tari, nyanyi dan drama tradisional. Pertunjukkan yang menceritakan seorang pemuda yang mencari emerald di seluruh Indonesia ini ditampilkan melalui drama berpadukan tari-tari tradisional yang berdurasi kurang lebih 1,5 jam.

Seperti hari-hari lain, pagi ini saya bangun dengan penuh perjuangan. Disertai keluhan saya beranjak dari kasur untuk bersiap-siap. Entah mengapa tenang rasanya. Tapi aneh. Bagaimana saya tidak merasa aneh, 5 hari terakhir ini kami latihan setiap malam seakan-akan hari ini adalah hari besar keramat kedua setelah lebaran (bisa jadi). Dan di hari-H, malah berasa biasa-biasa saja. Saya berpikir mungkin karena ini kedua kalinya saya tampil di Knock Knock Indonesia, jadi tidak se-panik tahun lalu. 

Pukul 10, backstage Concert Hall di kampus saya sudah di penuhi oleh orang-orang yang sibuk mendandani dan didandani, memakaikan dan dipakaikan kostum yang agak ribet. Saya yang tidak diizinkan untuk memakai kostum oleh panitia kostum (karena akan susah nari Saman saat gladi bersih jika memakai kostum Bali), hanya bisa duduk di pojokan mengagumi indahnya beragam warna warni kostum dan make-up yang mewarnai ruang tunggu ini. Iri sekali saya melihat orang-orang yang sudah bisa berfoto-foto dengan full-kostum (nasib penari Bali yang double dengan tari Saman). Sementara di panggung, panitia hari H sibuk dengan urusan ticketing, perlengkapan, kamera, sound system, lighting, hingga kursi tambahan. 

Entah mengapa, waktu bersiap-siap terasa sangat lama. Saya yang bisa tidur dalam kondisi apa pun, menyempatkan diri untuk tidur sejenak. Walau sempat-sempatnya tidur, makan siang yang berupa chicken mayo (semacam nasi campur) tak bisa saya lahap dengan enak. Hanya beberapa suap yang masuk ke dalam perut (personal reasons *halah). Tahun lalu, karena saya panitia perlengkapan, sibuklah saya dengan perlengkapan-perlengkapan di atas panggung. Kali ini, saya bisa ber haha-hihi dengan teman-teman di backstage. Karena lama mengurus sound system, gladi bersih yang seharusnya dimulai pukul 3, baru bisa di mulai pukul 4. Lagi-lagi saking tenangnya, gladi bersih pun tidak berasa seperti gladi bersih (biasanya tetep dag dig dug gitu). Lantaran rambut yang sudah di hairdo ala "Bali", menari Saman pun tidak leluasa. Belum lagi, hilangnya tempo di antara kami penari dan penabuh gendang yang sempat membuat kami berhenti di tengah-tengah. Dengan kata lain, hancur. Karena itulah, tari Saman kembali lagi ke panggung untuk marking yang kedua kalinya. Pelatih kami yang juga ketua KITA, tidak dapat berkata apa pun. Kekecewaan terlihat jelas di wajahnya. "Kita udah gak bisa latihan lagi, kita cuma bisa berdoa", itulah kata-kata terakhir sebelum acara di mulai. 

Melihat apa yang telah terjadi saat gladi bersih, perasaan tenang yang saya rasakan sejak pagi ini berubah total menjadi harap-harap cemas, panik, tidak sabar, senang, ragu. Intinya, campur aduk. Setelah tari Saman marking untuk kedua kalinya, belum sempat makan malam, saya langsung di bebet oleh kain Bali sepanjang 8 meter yang bahannya sangatlah tidak nyaman. Alhasil, lagi-lagi KKI tahun ini pun saya tidak sempat makan malam. Jangankan makan, nafas saja susah. Saya jadi kagum dengan penari-penari Bali.

Detik-detik terakhir sebelum acara mulai, kondisi backstage sangatlah kacau balau. Make-up bertebaran, bungkus makanan berada diatas meja make-up, tumpahan minuman karena kesenggol tidak langsung dilap, tas-tas berserakan, berbagai macam lipstick tersebar di penjuru ruangan, alas kaki yang tidak tersusun dengan rapih. Gara-gara kekisruhan tersebut, salah satu teman saya yang juga menari Bali pun kehilangan bokornya. Lebih tepatnya, karena kondisi yang sudah mepet, bokor bukan milik sendiri pun jadi. Karena tari Bali pembuka, bukan main kita panik mencari bokor tersebut yang ujung-ujungnya tertimbun di dalam tumpukan barang-barang yang seharusnya tidak berada disitu. Tepat 10 menit sebelum acara dimulai, di suasana ruang tunggu yang tegang ini, kami yang berpakaian beragam kostum tradisional Indonesia dan dalam beragam agama, kami pun saling menggenggam tangan dan berdoa untuk kesuksesan acara ini. Dan setelah berdoa, akhirnya saya bisa foto full-kostum Bali lengkap dengan penari Bali lainnya. Ini pertama kalinya kami tampil dengan kostum asli Bali (karena alasan dana, kami biasanya meminjam kostum tari Batak *miris).

Tepat pukul 7, kata sambutan pun mulai terdengar dari speaker. Saya yang berada kurang lebih satu meter dari panggung tak henti-hentinya menadahkan tangan, melepas doa. Telapak tangan yang dingin dan basah berkali saya lapkan ke kain Bali yang dililitkan ke tubuh saya. Dan tanpa saya sadari, mata saya pun berkaca-kaca (waduh make-up). Saya juga tidak tahu kenapa saya mengurai air mata saat itu. Lagu tari Pendet pun di putar, dengan hati deg-degan saya pun berjalan ala "pendet" ke panggung. Luar biasa takjub melihat Concert Hall penuh sesak oleh penonton. Agak beda dengan tahun lalu dimana kami bingung siapa yang kami mau undang. Bahkan, jumlah penonton yang duduk di tangga dan di kursi tambahan cukup banyak. 

Kembali ke backstage, dengan bantuan dua teman saya proses melepas lilitan kain 8 meter lalu ganti ke kostum saman cukup cepat. Akhirnya saya bisa bernafas lega. Agar tidak tertukar dan tidak menambahkan keberantakan di ruang ganti, dengan rapih saya lipat kembali kostum Bali tersebut. Setelah itu, barulah saya bergegas ke ruang make-up. Dan tiba-tiba teriakan "Tari Pukat stand-by!" terdengar. Panik tidak karuan. Bagaimana tidak panik, urutan Tari Saman adalah setelah Tari Pukat, sedangkan rambut belum dicepol dan make-up saya masih make-up Tari Bali. Dengan kecepatan bantuan 6 tangan yang saya juga tidak mengerti, kurang dari satu menit rambut saya sudah dicepol dan make-up pun sudah berubah menjadi make-up Tari Saman. Hebat! 

Setelah bergabung dengan penari Saman lainnya yang sudah stand-by di dekat panggung, tak henti-hentinya saya ucapkan "Bismillah". Mengingat buruknya gladi bersih kami tadi, perasaan khawatir tak kunjung pergi. Lampu sorot mati, dan kami pun berjalan lalu berlutut di atas panggung menunggu nyalanya lampu. Mulailah kami menepuk-nepuk kedua tangan dengan gaya Tari Saman. Seperti biasa, kami yang dipacu oleh adrenaline yang semakin meninggi, mengambil nada dasar yang cukup tinggi. Alhasil, rasanya saat itu Concert Hall seakan mau pecah dengan teriakan kami. Alhamdulillah, hampir tidak ada salah. Senyum lebar pun menghiasi muka saya saat pose terakhir. Lega. Sudah 3 tahun saya tampil Tari Saman di negeri gingseng ini, dan perasaan di setiap tampil berbeda-beda. Namun, saya paling bangga tampil di KKI dimana ini acara yang kami buat dengan susah payah untuk mempertunjukkan budaya Indonesia. 

Setelah Tari Saman selesai, masuklah Tari Kecak yang merupakan klimaks acara ini. Senang rasanya bisa menyaksikan Tari Kecak, walaupun hanya dari samping panggung (karena selama latihan selalu mengerjakan tugas, jadi biasanya tidak begitu memerhatikan). Dengan bantuan lighting yang bernuansa kemerah-merahan, perkelahian antara sang pemuda dan jin yang disertai dengan lantunan "cak cak cak cak.." terdengar sangat memukau. Kami yang menonton dari samping panggung pun ikut bersorak dan bertepuk tangan. Menuju akhir acara yaitu closing, semua penari menari bersama diiringi medley lagu "Dansa Yok Dansa", "Cinta Indonesia", dan "Zamrud Khatulistiwa". Dikibarkannya sang merah putih di atas panggung, kami bernyanyi tidak putus-putus sampai iringan dari tim Musik pun berhenti. Sama seperti tahun lalu, lagu "Bendera" yang dinyanyikan oleh Coklat pun diputar sebagai lagu terakhir. Penuh nasionalisme, kami ikut menyanyikan lagu tersebut. Akhirnya selesai juga dan turunlah tirai merah yang menandai selesainya acara kami. Dengan otomatis, kami saling berpelukan diiringi dengan banjir air mata. Kali ini, saya tahu air mata ini adalah air mata senang. Puas rasanya bisa memperkenalkan kekayaan budaya Indonesia di negeri orang. Inilah bentuk nasionalisme kami. 

Sukar dipercaya, rasanya tadi kemenangan tergenggam.